Getting on the Other Side of Grief: Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse

Zonnebelt-Smeenge, Susan and DeVries, Robert C.

Notes:

This sensitive and biblically oriented book offers a roadmap for bereaved spouses on the journey through grief to resolution. Excellent for pastors, too.

Reviews

“[The authors] offer empathy, valuable psychological insights, biblical observations, and male and female perspectives to help readers experience grief in a healthy, complete way.”
—The Banner

“An excellent resource. … The book’s wide range of topics and its clinical and pastoral perspectives make this a great addition to a church’s or pastor’s library.”–Linda Hardin, The Communicator (February 1999)

“This sensitive and worthwhile book looks unblinkingly at the process of grieving, and offers a ‘roadmap’ for the journey through grief that all bereaved spouses must take.”–Good Times (February 1999)

“While men and women go through the grieving process differently, they all need the help that a book like this one can give. … This is a readable, practical, and biblically oriented book that should be in all church libraries.”
–Peter J. Dyck, Provident Book Finder (March-May 1999)

“Like any good counselor each author has allowed the reader his/her space while continuing to gently nudge them on to new chapters in their lives. Having been widowed myself two years ago, I have subsequently read a number of books on this topic. I would rank this as one of the best, if not the best.”–Robert Vander Schaaf, Reformed Review (Winter 1999-2000)

“This book is specifically writtten with young widows and widowers in mind. Yet, it would be beneficial reading to anyone who has lost a spouse through death. Readers will sense that the authors are walking along side of them as they journey through their own grief and find comfort and support in their pain and loneliness. Counselors, pastors, and friends who assist thei grieving will find this volume a useful addition to the support they offer.”–American Journal of Pastoral Counseling

“I cannot think of a better book for the recently bereaved. I would go out of my way to give this book to someone whose spouse has died. This book is simple, true, practical, honest and wise. It avoids nothing and covers everything.”–Presbyterian Record (April 2000)

Amazon

I ordered this book without reference due to its use of both the psychologist and the theologist perspective. I have found it the most important of the many books I have received or purchased since my wife died suddenly, leaving me with two young children and a seemingly endless set of questions and emotions. The authors manage to share with you some of their experiences in losing a spouse while providing a well researched handbook for getting on a path through the darkness. It is at once an account of their own grief (I find I need to know more and more about how others dealt with the situation) and a list of practical advice and activity that move you through the shock to a constructive grieving process. No prescriptions here, but some very sound questions to be asking yourself, backed up by research and scripture. I have to thank them for going through the effort of writing this down and sharing so much of themselves as well as their beliefs and knowledge.

Barnes & Noble

Grief is a painful and often debilitating journey that challenges the griever to find new meaning in living and in his/her spititual faith. Bob and Susan take the reader by the hand and tell their own pain-filled story of their journey of grief. But, much more than a journal of their experiences, this book offers professionally sound psychological and theological analysis of the subject of grief. The author’s self-disclosure regarding their own grief experiences brings flesh and blood to the abstract process of grieving. The authors offer many practical grief-resolving suggestions on topics that range from sex to finances, parenting to dating, memeory-making to remarriage. Pastor Bob grapples with the difficult questions of theology and personal faith that surround the grief journey. The pastor provides pointed words of comapssionate support that are shaped by a hope-filled Biblical perspective. But he is never superficially pollyanna with his Christian perspective. Instead, he offers wisdom that evolved from a personal wrestling with God that tears at scripture to find meaningful truths. Susan encourages the reader to identify and stay in touch with the various emtions that are associcated with grief and recovery. Homework assignments that she offers require committment on the part of the griever to work at healthy recovery and not passively wait for time to pass. She worked at her recovery and expects the readers to do the same, but at their own pace and utilizing their own strengths. Her sensitivity as a clinician is evident throughout the book. Both authors challenge readers to work out their grief without avoidance and with the assurance that God is their partner in this painful journey of healing.